Getting Through the Holiday Season

DWDQ Update: December 2023

December and January are months of great festivity and celebration for many Australians: Christmas, Hanukkah, Bodhi Day. For some of us, though, it’s a time of mixed feelings. People who’re living with a life-limiting illness, caring for someone, or supporting someone through voluntary assisted dying – all of these situations can give rise to feelings of sadness. If someone close to you has died in this year, you may be all too aware that they are not at their usual place at the table. If some-one close to you is seeking voluntary assisted dying, you may wonder if this will be your last holiday time together. The pleasure you get from watching everyone open their presents from Santa, can be overshadowed by your sense of loss. 

We know that as people grieve, it’s not a linear straightforward process, not a matter of meeting milestones and then you recover. Birthdays, anniversaries, holiday times – you may find you’re missing someone all the more at those special times. Some wise cultures have special ceremonies in the months or years after a death, to acknowledge those feelings and help resolve them. There’s a beautiful practice in Japan where bereaved people buy floating lanterns and launch them into the sea, as a way of saying farewell to the souls of the dead. In China, Tomb Sweeping Day in spring is devoted to cleaning and decorating family graves and sharing a home-cooked feast.  

What can you do if you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the festivities? Just acknowledging it can help, finding a calm time to sit still with these feelings. That might be easier said than done. Create a small ritual for everyone to take part in – lighting a candle for the person who’s no longer here, going to a religious ceremony, sharing memories and even jokes. Talk to your family if you’re concerned it will all feel too much, and plan your graceful exit if you need to get away. There are no right or wrong ways to manage, just what comforts you.

You can find good resources online for yourself and people around you. We hope these sites will be helpful if you’re in need. 

Grief Australia at www.grief.org.au –

Grief, anniversaries and significant events.

The grief of family and friends after voluntary assisted death.

Griefline at www.griefline.org.au – 

Coping with grief after voluntary assisted dying: a guide for family and friends.

If you have children or young people who’re affected – www.au.reachout.com is an online forum focusing on young people and their mental health. Go to the “Articles” section on their menu for a link to the page Managing grief during the festive season.

Free phone helplines

Kids’ Helpline - 1800 55 1800

24/7 free phone counselling for young people age 5 – 25.

Griefline - 1300 845 745  

8.00 to 8.00 7 days free phone counselling for all bereaved people   

Telehealth –  ongoing concerns

We’re sorry that the news on this issue is so disappointing.

Dr Nick Carr is a Melbourne GP and long-standing member of the Board of DWDVIC. He lobbied the Federal Attorney-General for almost two years to overturn the “telehealth” law. This Federal law makes it illegal to discuss voluntary assisted dying by phone, email or any electronic communication: these consults are considered “counselling or inciting suicide via a carriage service”. Doctors and other health professionals face heavy fines and possible jail sentences if they break this law.   

Dr Carr pursued legal action in the Federal Court in 2022, hoping to clarify the definition of “suicide”. The Federal Court delivered their judgement on 30 November: voluntary assisted dying is considered suicide. This law over-rules the States’ laws – even when, as in Queensland, our Act clearly states that VAD is not suicide.

The Queensland Attorney-General Yvette D’ath said: “Doctors shouldn’t face prosecution for fulfilling their duties, nor should people be denied access to medical support based on where they live.”

The issue was tabled and discussed at the regular meeting on 1 December between the Federal AG and his State counterparts.  

It’s on the agenda for the December National Meeting of Aus/NZ Dying with Dignity groups.

Independent W.A. MP Kate Chaney has drafted a private member’s bill seeking to exempt voluntary assisted dying from the definition of suicide.  

We’ll keep you updated. You’ll find an excellent summary of the issue on our website in Queensland News page – a new article by the fantastic team at QUT.

Congratulations to New South Wales 

On 30 November, NSW became the final State to implement voluntary assisted dying for eligible people. The NSW Chief Health Officer said she felt confident they were well prepared, and they had at least 150 trained doctors and a remote access team on board. We wish NSW well in their first few months of operation! We’ll be supporting the moves by the ACT and the NT to establish voluntary assisted dying laws too.

Looking ahead to 2024

Are you in a club, a book group, a circle of friends – or any other gathering of people?

DWDQ will come to you and provide a presentation on the VAD law in Queensland and on planning for your future.    

At present we’re limited to SEQ, but we’re working on creating a presentation that people in regional areas can access.   

If you’d like to open up discussion and knowledge of the law in your own community – we’d love to hear from you!  Please email [email protected]

The Committee and volunteers of Dying with Dignity QLD, wish you all well for this holiday time……and may we have a good year for all in 2024.

Sheila Sim

President, DWDQ